- Friday July 1st -
"I say Snoop, you say Dawwwwwwwg"
Snoop Dogg
Only Snoop could pull off a set sooo egotistical yet sooo invigorating. We are eating out of the palm of his skunk-sticky hands while he drops seriously hot joints. He also drops the faux pas of the festival "I love being here Ross-Glide". Sheesh-a. If the Dead Kenndys were too drunk too fuck, he is too stoned to notice. Amongst a highlight-heavy set, "Drop It Like It's Hot" stands out, full of overlapping drum patterns and Regulate-style synths. But the biggest roar goes up for "What's My Name", 60,000 peeps/pimps hollering as Snoop's crunked DJ jacks the volume. The Dogg looks resplendently high in blue/grey army fatigues, proudly red-eyed and waving his arms like an unshakable dictator.
Death From Above 1979
Crunchy riffs. Coxic richtering kickdrums. Death From Above 1979 describe themselves as "an elephant in your living room" and they are true to form, smashing through an hour long set punch-uated by rootin tootin rock salutin'. We salute you, schaaaawing batter batter.
Craig Richards
White hot silly pepper. Richards is accustomed to the stonking Fabric sound system and tonight he nudges the Metropol Stage way past 11 with fresh phatass beats. I hear he has been turning away Norwegian journalist interviews due to being too stoned; and hearing his set it is evident he's smoko loco. Richards peers out through his half(andrew)mast eyelids and puts the mental into experimental, thudding and crunching beats with harmonies that veer towards DJ Hell at times but with a more musi-cool dash. So nice he got to play twice.
Autechre
Avant-garde guardians. My mates try to drag me away from the electronic pioneers but i insist they stay and lap up glitchy, trippy soundscapes. Most of it goes over the head of the crowds, but I dug it.
John Digweed
Every time i've seen Digweed he has a moment where the Millenium Falcon (hey, it's topical) hyperdrive kicks in. He voooooomps into it at after 30 minutes of tease-it-out house (prog to ye) and then it is Game Fucking On. For a DJ with anti-charisma to still rule n roll like that is a sight for your ears to behold.
Saturday July 2nd
Jimmy Eat World
Hideous.
Foo Fighters
O.K i admit i'm eating Thai food while the Foos rule the main stage, but i can hear Stacked Actors and Monkey Wrench loud n clear, m'dear. And it sounds fucking amazing. Late in the set, Grohl sprints out to the middle of the crowd, climbs atop the Tuborg Bar and plays his axe violently.
Royksopp
Ever think DJs should have neon tickers that show which track they're playing? The besuited Norwegians do; informing us each tune they play, like 'Poor Leno - Mekon Remix'. Graci. Royksopp impress with deep, organic house music.
Four Tet
The hash is taking hold and jazzy drum n bass massages the lobes beautifully. Puff puff give.
Duran Duran
I dry-retch at the thought. Worst high-kick ever. NO-stalgia.
Green Day
Apart from Longview..... terrible. Unless you think American Idiot isn't shooting fish in a barrel.
Carl Cox
Sublime techno. Cox fires up the pill-free punters (believe it) with ever-changing kickdrums and high-hats,
Sunday July 3rd
* After winning the three on three competition last year, we tackle the courts once again. Our team Gonzales owns it for about an hour, winning three games before the Streetballin' commentator decides he wants to lose to us as well. We are spent by 3pm, but victorious.
Thievery Corporation
Shimmering and simmering. Hash fills the air so thick that we don't even need to skin up, while Thievery Corporation's hairdresser beats soothe our basketball battred bodies. Lebanese Blonde is brought to life by a horn section, live guitarist, foot-pointing sitar player and a Penelope Cruz minx. A set rich and layered like a Danish pastry and much more tasteful than that analogy.
...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
Vey average. Try. Hard
Brian Wilson
Excellent space-cadet set. 'California Girls' and 'Good Vibrations' have the youngsters jumping. Wilson plays songs from 'Smile' confidently and is quite a sight to behold, grossly overweight, sitting down and asking after every song "How loud can you yell?".
Chic
Oprah would love it. Everyone else can check the exploit-by date. Watching Chic is like the Simspons episode where only two surviving members (injuns) of Bonanza appear at a shopping mall.
Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra
Tarantino will be all over these guys if he sees them, Crazy 88-style. The 10 piece White suits and frantic ska-trumpet solos
Queens of Noize
Closing Roskilde with delirious 80s Blondie-isms, Queens of Noize basically run around dancing like coked-up divas (like?) and mix good records badly. They drop in NY Excuse by Soulwax, though sadly not the NY Lipps bootleg that's 'so hot right now'. They manage to inspire floppy dancing to the hardcore hundreds that are making the most of the last night of the festival. Cool and colourful.
Part 3 - PattonKilde - Maldoror, Fantomas, Rahzel, Kaada.
PATTON PATTON PATTON
I could easily repeat the words PATTON like 'Malkovich Malkovich', but that would be cheap and I'm no hussy. Patton did his banshee-howling freakyshit with Maldoror on the second night of Roskilde, a neat entree to the next 4 Patton performances. Fantomas pull a strong crowd in and tear through distorted soundscapes a la Melvins and Tool ganging up in a machete fight against Mr Bungle. Their latest album Suspended Animation is devirginised live. "Meee-aww Meee-awww" Patton screams, intensity in tent-city. Later on, Rahzel and Patton come on the Odeon stage and mimic Greenday, who have just finished on Orange stage by nasaling "American Idiot". Laugh-out loud, we do. Mike makes a surprise appearance with Rahzel and DJ S-1 the next day on the Pavillion stage, singing 'Pappa Was A Rolling Stone' with bluesy schizophrenia, Rahzel providing the sturdy foundation in a moment of pricless, controlled chaos, a feat in itself after the Fantomas skitz-hitz. Kaada (a six-piece for Roskilde instead of one) and Patton take to the Pavillion stage and create an eerie soundtrack for the last day of Roskilde, Papa Patton belting out (actual) songs for the first time during Roskilde, showing off the cerazee crooning that's made him such a powerful figure. He looked hot in an Al Capone gangster suit too.
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Nudity of Roskilde
Smashed Swedish guy nekkid, but for his backpack, strutting during Greenday. The man don't give a fuck.
Quote of Roskilde
"I would like you to keeel me"
Spanish Metal reporter to our camp, unprovoked.
Controversial Tshirt of Roskilde
"I love Mormon pussy"