MDRNTY Cruise 2017

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  • Last Saturday afternoon, I awoke from a snooze, my head sticky against the coach window, to the sight of the biggest ship I'd ever seen. Gleaming white among the faded facades of Genoa's port buildings sat the MSC Magnifica, one of a 16-strong fleet of cruise liners operated by MSC, the second-largest shipping company in the world. Nearly 300 metres long and built at a cost of €547 million, the ship usually holds around 3,000 older and elderly passengers on luxury jaunts around the Mediterranean or South America. Last week, though, the average age onboard dropped by at least 30 years, as the Magnifica hosted MDRNTY Cruise, an event billed as "the world's first 100% underground electronic music cruise." That tagline suggests the music policy was the selling point, but there was something else. For the full four nights, all food and (alcoholic) drink was included in the price of a ticket. The music, a mix of big-room and deeper strains of house and techno, ran 24/7, which meant there wasn't an hour in the day when you couldn't load up on pizza or frozen daiquiris. There was an older (in dance music terms) European crowd, which meant this didn't signal total carnage but it did charge the atmosphere, with a silly, rambunctious energy that rarely dipped. Within minutes of boarding the ship, the festival's 2000 attendees were several beers deep, some splashing about in hot tubs, others cranking out meaty tech house on portable speakers. Pretty much everyone ignored the ship's mandatory safety drill. When the MDRNTY team aren't negotiating deals with shipping conglomerates, they run Caprices Festival, a four-day event in the Swiss Alps that prides itself on its stunning location and state-of-the-art venues. On the cruise, the four stages were more of a mixed bag. Outdoor Pool and Indoor Pool were both visually impressive, while Disco 32 and Ametista, which made use of pre-existing venues, were less so. Disco 32 in particular didn't work: situated at the wrong end of the ship, it sat too far from the rest of the action and was seldom full. (That said, I saw one of my musical highlights there: DJ Tennis opening with Donato Dozzy's "Cassandra.") Ametista, on the other hand, had a certain Butlins-style charm, carpeted and with UV lights, neon street art and way too much leather seating. On Saturday night, I caught a wicked warm-up set from Dana Ruh in there, before Sven Väth turned things up with a patient slew of tribal bangers, including a remix of Oxia's "Domino."
    Väth appeared fresh-faced for a second set on Sunday afternoon, this time following Mathew Jonson at Outdoor Pool, an expansive wooden deck with a bar at one end, a DJ booth at the other and an icy-cold pool in the middle. A few hours earlier, with the sky a radiant blue and a vigorous sea breeze whipping through the deck, Sonja Moonear had impressed with two hours of slinky house, peaking with a killer Italoboyz remix of Elia Perrone's "Bagatelas." Väth, though, phoned it in, leaning on a surprising number of the same tracks from the night before. Even so, the vibe was fantastic, loose and smiley in a way that only boat parties can be—especially when there's a free bar. One group of friends must've hogged one of the hot tubs for a good ten hours, while in the pool, people whiled away the afternoon grappling with inflatable rays and killer whales. Every good party needs a sense of adventure, something MDRNTY Cruise wasn't short of. When the music sagged, as it too often did, it was time to tear around the ship in search of alternative entertainment. On Sunday evening, I stumbled across a rehearsal for a show called Mr Bang at The Royal Theatre, a huge, plush venue with lime-green seats. Onstage, a man brandished a vacuum cleaner to the sounds of liquid drum & bass. Elsewhere, there was a casino, a photography gallery (the cruise was weirdly big on photos—I must have been snapped upwards of 20 times) and, my personal favourite, a five-a-side football pitch at the ship's highest point. €729 might sound like a lot for the cheapest ticket, but when you factor in all the facilities, plus the 24/7 music, the high-quality food and drink, and the stop-offs in Barcelona, Mallorca and Ibiza, you're probably getting decent bang for your buck.
    I had to leave the boat in Ibiza on Monday evening, but not before another whirlwind night and day dancing to strong sets from Dixon, Oshana back-to-back with Anthea and the Fuse London crew, who had the run of Outdoor Pool on Monday. It was here, getting down to Enzo Siragusa's relentless heat, that the atmosphere hit fever-pitch. The boat felt fuller than it had all weekend, with maybe a 1000 people spread across various decks. Everyone was locked in and partying hard—a pop-up bar had been set up to deal with the extra demand. If MDRNTY Cruise is to compete in the elite festival sphere, it'll need to reconsider its lineup. There was little variety, most of the music a different take on thumping four-to-the-floor. It needed more artists in the Gerd Janson or Axel Boman mould, DJs who play feel-good music that isn't necessarily anchored by groove. Get the music right and the team could be onto a real winner. Photo credit / Alberto Alcocer - Indoor Pool David Holderbach - All others except lead
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