In the times when share prices of traditional, boring and single-minded investment funds are plummeting, there comes the perfect moment to launch a new fund, the one, that all the financial experts foresee a fantastic future for in 2009. Dear investors, we present to you fund K.R.I.Z., portfolio A.
Scientific analysis of global macro economic systems combined with wider demographic movements proves that with a drop in economic conjuncture and with a rise of recession the desire to socialize, have fun, to relax and to dance - grows. Materialistic way of live becomes obsolete and the only way out is to turn a new leaf in the perception of consumption.
Our new fund allows you to invest in your primal social needs, in your own well-being, relaxation, dancing and, consequentially, in your excellent mental health. All of those goods are completely independent of general economic trends, oil prices and Christmas bonuses of those pompous ass-holes on Wall Street. Therefore their value can only increase and global recession has no effect whatsoever on them.
By purchasing entry stocks you will receive dividends immediately at the very launch of this new fund, and what is best, you will be able to keep them forever as a great memory of the party of the year. A solid guarantee for an excellent result of your investment in K.R.I.Z. fund, portfolio A, is a 20-year long tradition of K4 Mental Health and Wellbeing Investment Company which is proud to have had a constant climb of the value of its shares in those past two decades.
Still in doubt? Musical and visual lectures on the spot are guaranteed to persuade you.
Warning of the Ministry for economic affairs: While the psychological value of your investment will begin rising immediately upon the launch of the new fund, there is a chance that you will experience a small drop in the value of your investment on the physiological level in the afternoon hours of January 1, 2009 which will manifest itself in the form of a headache, dry mouth syndrome, light to medium muscle pains and a desire for greasy food. The drop will be short-lived.